How to Break Free From Financial Abuse

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Gender-based violence (GBV) remains a widespread and deeply troubling issue in South Africa, with its effects felt in countless homes across the country. While physical and emotional abuse often takes centre stage in discussions, there is another form of abuse that is just as destructive – financial abuse. According to Jessica Pillay, Financial Adviser at Momentum Financial Planning, “This form of abuse is often hidden in plain sight, but its impact can be devastating, leaving victims financially trapped and emotionally drained.”

According to the 2022/2023 Victims of Crime Survey by Stats SA, a significant proportion of women in South Africa have experienced various forms of gender-based violence, including physical and sexual violence. What often goes unnoticed, however, is that financial abuse is present in the overwhelming majority of domestic violence cases, with many victims enduring severe economic control by their abusers.

Financial abuse involves using money as a weapon to control, manipulate, and undermine a partner’s independence, often leaving them dependent and voiceless..

As we reflect on the 16 Days of Activism against gender-based violence, Pillay says that it’s essential for women – especially those in abusive situations- to understand what financial abuse looks like and to ask themselves: Do I have a financial voice, or am I constantly silenced?

Signs you might be in a financially abusive relationship
Restriction of economic activity

Financial abusers often try to limit your ability to work, pursue a career, or study, effectively cutting off your access to financial independence. By keeping you financially dependent, they maintain control over you.

Restricting access to healthcare

A controlling partner may prevent you from seeking medical care or deliberately make it difficult for you to access healthcare services, putting your well-being at risk.

Micromanaging spending

In a healthy relationship, both partners should be able to make spending decisions without constant scrutiny. If you find yourself having to explain every small expense, or if your partner monitors your spending excessively, this is a clear sign of financial control.

Deliberate damage to your credit

Financial abusers may ruin your credit score by either mismanaging shared debts or actively sabotaging your financial stability. This leaves you unable to access loans, rent an apartment, or make major purchases on your own.

Complete control over finances

Some victims are forced to hand over all their income to their abuser, who then controls how the money is spent. This fosters total financial dependence, making it almost impossible for the victim to break free.

Hiding assets during divorce or maintenance

During divorce or maintenance negotiations, some abusers hide their true financial situation, especially when the woman has been a homemaker or full-time mother. The common assumption that “she didn’t work for a cent” is not only false but devalues the important contribution that caregiving and managing a household make to the family. These hidden assets can severely affect a woman’s financial future.

These are just a few examples of how financial abuse can play out, but the impact is far-reaching. It’s important to recognise the signs so that you can take action to protect yourself. There is hope, however—you don’t have to stay trapped in a financially abusive situation.

How to break free from financial abuse
Become financially literate

Knowledge is power. Learning the basics of money management, understanding your rights, and learning how to budget, save, and invest will give you the tools to regain control over your financial life. Financial literacy can help you identify when you’re being manipulated and provide a foundation for making informed decisions.

Seek professional counselling

Financial abuse often goes hand in hand with emotional and psychological manipulation. Professional counselling can help you heal from the trauma of abuse and teach you how to set healthy boundaries. Therapy can also help you rebuild your self-esteem and gain the confidence to take control of your financial future.

Consult a financial adviser

A financial adviser can assist you in rebuilding your financial independence. They can offer advice on how to manage debts, save for the future, and take control of your money. Financial advisers can provide practical solutions and help you navigate complex financial situations.

Maintain economic independence

Even if you’re in a relationship, it’s important to maintain your own savings and investment accounts. This ensures that you have financial security and independence, especially if circumstances change. Having your financial cushion can give you peace of mind and protect you from unexpected challenges.

Ensure financial compatibility

When making joint financial decisions, it’s important to have open and honest discussions about money. Financial compatibility is crucial in any relationship. If you’re in a partnership, ensure that you both understand each other’s financial goals and values before making joint commitments.

Reach out for help

There are organisations in South Africa that specialise in supporting victims of abuse, including financial abuse. Organisations like POWA (People Opposing Women Abuse), SAPS (South African Police Service), and various legal and financial support services are available to offer guidance, legal assistance, and resources for women facing abuse. Don’t hesitate to reach out to these organisations for help.

The road to empowerment

While financial abuse can feel overwhelming, it’s important to know that you don’t have to face it alone. There is hope, and there are practical steps you can take to reclaim your independence. By educating yourself, seeking support, and taking control of your finances, you can build a future where you are empowered – not controlled – by money.

Pillay says, “Strength doesn’t come from the body; it comes from your will. If you decide to take control of your financial life, the solutions are within reach.”
Stats show the need for change

The statistics speak for themselves: 21% of South African women report having experienced physical or sexual violence in their lifetime, and more than half of these cases involve financial abuse. Stats SA (2022) reports that economic violence is a significant part of the broader GBV epidemic, with many women trapped in abusive situations because of their lack of financial independence. Over 50% of women in abusive relationships report being subjected to some form of financial control or economic violence. It’s clear that financial abuse is a significant and widespread issue in South Africa—and it’s time to address it head-on.

Your financial voice matters. “By recognising the signs of financial abuse, understanding your rights, and taking steps to protect yourself, you can break free from the cycle of control and build a secure, independent future. It’s time to own your power and your financial life and start shaping a future where you are the one in charge.” Says Pillay.

“Together, we can create a society where financial abuse is no longer tolerated, and where every woman has the freedom and power to build her own financially secure future.”

References:

  1. Stats SA (2022) – Victims of Crime Survey 2022. Retrieved from www.statssa.gov.za.