While there are always obstacles to meeting the right person, these tips can help you find lasting love and build a healthy, worthwhile relationship. When you’re having trouble finding a love connection, it’s all too easy to become discouraged or buy into the destructive myths out there about dating and relationships.
Life as a single person offers many rewards. Such as being free to pursue your own hobbies and interests. Learning how to enjoy your own company, and appreciating the quiet moments of solitude. However, if you’re ready to share your life with someone and want to build a lasting, worthwhile relationship, life as a single person can also seem frustrating.
Whatever the case may be, you can overcome your obstacles. Even if you’ve been burned repeatedly or have a poor track record when it comes to dating. These tips can help put you on the path to finding a healthy, loving relationship that lasts. The first step to finding love is to reassess some of the misconceptions about dating and relationships that may be preventing you from finding lasting love.
A predetermined set of expectation
When we start looking for a long-term partner or enter into a romantic relationship, many of us do so with a predetermined set of expectation. Such as how the person should look and behave. How the relationship should progress, and the roles each partner should fulfill.
These expectations may be based on your family history. The influence of your peer group, your past experiences, or even ideals portrayed in movies and TV shows. Retaining many of these unrealistic expectations can make any potential partner seem inadequate and any new relationship feel disappointing.
Wants include things like occupation, intellect, and physical attributes such as height, weight, and hair color. Even if certain traits seem crucially important at first, over time you’ll often find that you’ve been needlessly limiting your choices.
Needs are different from wants in that needs are those qualities that matter to you most, such as values, ambitions, or goals in life. These are probably not the things you can find out about a person by eyeing them on the street. Reading their profile on a dating site, or sharing a quick cocktail at a bar before the last call. Little things go a long way. Such as remembering someone’s preferences, the stories they’ve told you, and what’s going on in their life.
Put your smartphone away
You can’t truly pay attention or forge a genuine connection when you’re multitasking. Nonverbal communication—subtle gestures, expressions, and other visual cues. They tell us a lot about another person, but they’re easy to miss unless you’re tuned in.
Put a priority on having fun
Online dating, singles events, and matchmaking services like speed dating are enjoyable for some people, but for others, they can feel more like high-pressure job interviews. And whatever dating experts might tell you, there is a big difference between finding the right career and finding lasting love.
Handle rejection gracefully
At some point, everyone looking for love is going to have to deal with rejection—both as the person being rejected and the person doing the rejecting. It’s an inevitable part of dating, and never fatal. By staying positive and being honest with yourself and others, handling rejection can be far less intimidating. The key is to accept that rejection is an inevitable part of dating but to not spend too much time worrying about it. It’s never fatal.
Don’t take it personally
If you’re rejected after one or a few dates, the other person is likely only rejecting you for superficial reasons you have no control over—some people just prefer blondes to brunettes, chatty people to quiet ones—or because they are unable to overcome their own issues. Be grateful for early rejections—it can spare you much more pain down the road.
Don’t dwell on it, but learn from the experience
Don’t beat yourself up over any mistakes you think you made. If it happens repeatedly, though, take some time to reflect on how you relate to others, and any problems you need to work on. Then let it go. Dealing with rejection in a healthy way can increase your strength and resilience.
Acknowledge your feelings
It’s normal to feel a little hurt, resentful, disappointed, or even sad when faced with rejection. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings without trying to suppress them. Practicing mindfulness can help you stay in touch with your feelings and quickly move on from negative experiences.
Watch for relationship red flags
Red-flag behaviors can indicate that a relationship is not going to lead to healthy, lasting love. Trust your instincts and pay close attention to how the other person makes you feel. If you tend to feel insecure, ashamed, or undervalued, it may be time to reconsider the relationship.