We communicate frequently, and sometimes most honestly, with what we do rather than what we say. Nonverbal communication is called “body language.” Body language is how we sit, position our arms, and contort our faces. It is often something that we don’t deliberately control. Having a better understanding of nonverbal communication can help you understand those around you and it can help you become more aware of the messages you are sending to the world. Here is a list of 15 common nonverbal cues:
Body Language While Sitting
We spend a lot of our time – especially our social time when nonverbal cues are most important – sitting down. How we are sitting can tell a lot about our attitudes and feelings in a given situation
1. Knees Apart
A common thread that we will see in this article is that the larger a person seems, the more confident they are likely to feel or want to appear.
If a person sits or stands in a way that makes them appear larger, they may be trying to intimidate or boast to others. Any of these can be the case for sitting with the knees apart. Sitting with the knees apart makes the person appear larger and it also makes them appear relaxed, comfortable, and in charge. Therefore, confident. This is typically a more masculine pose and it would be more common to see a man sitting with his knees apart than a woman.
2. Knees Together
Just as someone sitting with their knees apart can appear larger and therefore more confident or relaxed, someone sitting with their knees together can appear smaller and is more likely to be worried or on edge. This is because sitting with the knees together is a “closed” position that suggests that the person is trying to protect themselves. Sitting with knees together isn’t necessarily seen as a feminine pose in the way that sitting with knees apart is generally seen as a masculine pose.
3. Knees Crossed
Sitting with knees crossed usually has a deeper meaning than simply sitting with the knees together. It makes the person appear very small and can be seen as a closed and defensive pose. Unlike sitting with knees together is usually seen as an explicitly feminine pose. It is considered dainty and polite. It can suggest shyness or discomfort.
4. Ankles Crossed Under Knees
Sitting on the floor with the ankles crossed and the feet under the knees is often seen as a sign of comfort and thoughtfulness.
Body Language While Standing
Body language isn’t only “spoken” when sitting, it’s how we stand can also tell us a great deal about what an individual is thinking or feeling.
5. Feet Apart
As with sitting, having the feet apart makes the individual appear larger and is a more stable stance. It is often seen as being confident, comfortable, and potentially aggressive.
6. Feet Together
Standing with the feet together makes the person appear smaller and so is usually held by less comfortable people. Standing with feet together is also often a sign of respect as when soldiers “stand at attention.”
7. Supported or Slouched
Standing while supported as with a foot or the back or shoulders against a wall denotes comfort and not aggression. It is seen as being disrespectful, not paying attention to the conversation around them if they are slouched or hunched over.
Arm Positions
So far, most of the nonverbal cues that we have discussed have focused on the positions of the lower body. However, how we hold our arms can also be telling.
8. At the Sides or Hands in Pockets
Standing with arms at the sides, depending on their stiffness, is a sort of neutral position. Stiff arms and straight shoulders are usually reserved for signs of respect as is the case with soldiers standing at attention. It can be seen as distracting and there is room to assume that the individual is more preoccupied with whatever is in their pockets than with what is going
9. Arms Crossed
Standing with the arms folded over the chest makes the body seem smaller and is a closed position. It can be a sign of discomfort, but also anger. Having the arms crossed over the chest is also often seen disrespectful, possibly because it can be seen as creating a barrier between the other person and themselves, showing disinterest or disapproval.
10. Arms Up
Having the arms raised is often seen as a sign of submission. In conflict, people who have surrendered often have their arms raised as a sign that they are not holding or reaching for a weapon. Similarly, police officers may ask individuals to put their arms up or behind their head to show that they are not armed. Similarly, people may symbolically “give up” on anything by throwing their arms in the air.
11. Palms Together
Holding the palms together can mean several things depending on the context but it is very often a contemplative gesture. It is often done while thinking but it is often done while praying. This can be seen as directing the thoughts to heaven.
Holding the palms together take on another meaning in the pacific world. In practices like yoga, holding the palms together symbolizes balance. The posture is symmetrical, with the palms meeting at the center of the body.
12. Hands Behind the Back
Standing with one’s hands behind the back is also usually a sign of contemplation, comfort, and patience. While In martial arts and the armed services, standing with the hands behind the back is often seen as a semi-formal stance.
Facial Expressions
The ways in which we sit, stand, and bear ourselves can all be very expressive. Our faces, however, are infinitely more so.
13. Raised Eyebrows
Raising both eyebrows are indicative of interest or surprise. In raising the eyebrows, the eyes are opened wider suggesting that the individual is trying to see everything that is going on. Raising one eyebrow, however, is often indicative of skepticism.
14. Squinting
Squinting is something that we do to help us to see long distances or details. We also often squint when we are skeptical of something or disagreeing with someone, as though we are trying to see their perspective or frustration at the disagreement.
15. Eye Contact
Eye contact is a sign of connection or focus. Maintaining eye contact with a person shows seriousness and dedication, while constantly averting the eyes shows distraction or nervousness. Constant eye contact can also be overbearing and imply intimidation. A natural eye control that is direct but not constant generally conveys the most comfort and ease.
Understanding (and Not Understanding) Body Language
Most of us have some intuitive understanding of body language that we develop over the countless social interactions that we take part in during our lives. However, having a deeper understanding of nonverbal cues can help us to read a person, read a room, or even pick up on potential threats. One good way to use body language is to start with a person’s face and work your way down, performing a mental checklist. What’s their facial expression like? What are they doing with their arms? How are they standing or sitting?
Understanding body language can also help you make sure you are sending the right message out to the world. If you want to appear open and friendly, you don’t want to sit and stand in closed positions, for example. The next time that you are meeting someone, think about what your expression and posture might be saying about you.
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