Valentine’s Day arrives with chocolates, flowers, and the pressure to prove your love through your spending power. But here’s the truth nobody puts on a greeting card: overspending to impress is where many romantic financial disasters begin.
New couples often get caught in a whirlwind of lavish dates, spontaneous weekend getaways, luxury gifts, and shared subscriptions that quietly creep up the credit card statement. What starts as grand gestures becomes lifestyle inflation that’s nearly impossible to maintain once the honeymoon phase fades. The result is bad debt that lingers long after the butterflies have disappeared.
Mistakes couples make
The financial mistakes don’t stop there. Many couples blend finances far too soon, jumping into joint accounts, co-signing debt, taking loans “for us,” or buying cars and property together without legal agreements. Without a proper legal structure, this becomes a big risk. Meanwhile, the crucial “money conversation” gets avoided entirely. Discussions about existing debt, spending habits, and financial goals are postponed indefinitely, creating cracks in the foundation that only reveal themselves later, sometimes tearing relationships apart.
When relationships end, the financial chaos often intensifies. Emotional spending and revenge shopping become coping mechanisms, leading to retail therapy, luxury holidays, and unnecessary debt that trades short-term comfort for long-term pain. Joint accounts remain open, debit orders continue running, shared loans stay unmanaged, and access to each other’s credit facilities persists. This creates legal and financial liability that haunts you long after love has gone, including those delightful spam calls from debt collectors years down the line.
Without clear legal agreements, breakups become expensive, time-consuming, and emotionally draining battles over assets. And people consistently underestimate the costs of starting over. Think deposits, moving expenses, replacing shared furniture, and legal fees that all add up quickly.
Protecting yourself
So how do you protect yourself? If you’re getting married, sign an Antenuptial Contract (ANC). Without one, you’re automatically married in community of property, meaning one estate, shared debt, and shared risk. Most couples don’t realise this until it’s too late. An ANC with accrual lets you keep pre-marriage assets while sharing growth accumulated during marriage, while an ANC without accrual maintains completely separate estates. This is ideal if one partner has a business or high-risk profession.
Maintain financial independence
Even in committed relationships, maintain financial independence: your own emergency fund, accounts, and savings plan. Shared expenses can be managed through fair splits without merging everything. Have financial conversations early about debt, spending habits, savings goals, retirement planning, and lifestyle expectations. It’s not unromantic, it’s responsible. Protect big assets by ensuring ownership and responsibility are clearly documented whenever buying property, cars, or investments.
Here’s the final word: love with your heart, but plan with your head. Romance thrives when stress is low, and financial clarity reduces conflict. Treat legal documents like insurance; you hope to never need them, but you’re grateful when you do. Avoid making permanent financial decisions based on temporary emotions, whether in the honeymoon phase or during heartbreak. Build your own financial identity regardless of relationship status, staying independent enough to stand on your own feet.
If you truly love someone, protect them. Wills, life cover, and clear agreements ensure your partner is secure, not burdened when life throws curveballs.
For more information, see www.fiscal.co.za
