Whether you work outside or are a stay-home mom, you love your child and enjoy raising children. All parents work hard, but a stay-at-home mom seems to have the most demanding job of all. Kids are blessings and offer much love and affection, but they also require much care. For stay-at-home moms, the responsibility falls solely to them without reprieve.
While most stay-home moms love their role, it can still take its toll. It’s a stressful job that you can’t take a break from since it requires feeding, bathing, changing, cleaning, soothing, and more. Staying home with your baby is fulfilling and wonderful, but that doesn’t decrease the amount of work motherhood takes.
People who haven’t stayed home with their kids sometimes falsely assume it’s an easy job, but that’s far from the truth. Studies show that a stay-home mom has the most challenging job, despite the false assumptions. Moms who stay home to care for their kids don’t get a break from the emotional, mental, and physical energy it requires.
Some of the reasons it’s the hardest job include:
There are no salary or health benefits – These moms work 24 hours a day, but they don’t get paid for any of it. Even working parents who don’t enjoy their jobs get a paycheck, but a mom who stays home can’t say the same. Parents who stay at home never stop working, and they do many jobs at one time.
They can’t say no – In a regular job, employees can speak up for themselves if they’re asked to do something that isn’t in their job description. However, parents who stay home can’t say no to any task because they’re the only ones there to do it. No matter how gross or complex the job, the primary caregiver has to deal with it.
They don’t get breaks – When a parent stays home with the kids, they don’t get to take breaks whenever they want. Instead, they spend each moment getting things done around the house or setting up appointments. They end up multi-tasking and trying to get everything done before preparing dinner. Even when a stay-home mom goes to the restroom, they usually don’t do it alone. Their kids will follow them in the bathroom or sit outside the door waiting for them. Plus, they have to eat lunch while working, too.
The hard work goes unseen – Even when parents who stay home go above and beyond, their hard work often goes unseen. Their little ones won’t notice all the hard work they put in, and sometimes their spouse doesn’t either. There’s no chance of recognition, a bonus, or a raise like in a regular job.
Other people assume it isn’t a real job – While other people’s opinions shouldn’t matter, it doesn’t help make things easier. People who don’t have kids assume that staying home to take care of kids isn’t a real job. Some working parents even carry the false assumption, hurting the moms who do it all.
All parents have demanding jobs, and it isn’t fair to assume someone who stays home doesn’t do anything. Staying home means raising humans to become functioning members of society, a job that doesn’t allow for many mistakes. There’s no job more real than one that prepares kids to interact with the world around them.
They don’t get to eat an uninterrupted lunch – Regular employers legally have to provide a lunch break for full-time employees. However, when your child is your boss, they don’t follow the same standards. Many times, moms end up eating their lunch standing up in the kitchen, not finishing before it gets cold.
Kids don’t care if you want to eat lunch if they need something. Sure, you can teach them to respect your meal times, but that doesn’t work with all kids, specifically infants and toddlers. Even teenagers will interrupt and expect their mom to drop what they’re doing.
They often suffer from social isolation – Stay-at-home moms spend all day with their kids but then feel guilty for leaving them in the evenings or on weekends. After a while of little to no adult interaction, social isolation kicks in and leaves the mom feeling depressed. When moms are always with their kids, it hinders their emotional well-being. Adults need time to spend away from their children, whether at work or not. Motherhood can’t be the only way they define themselves.
Full-time parenting takes an emotional toll – While a regular boss might be hard to deal with, they generally have to follow some professional rules. There are things they can’t do or say to you, and you can have a conversation about any issues that come up. However, stay-at-home moms deal with raising children all day who sometimes don’t care how they make you feel.
While a parent knows their child doesn’t mean hurtful things they say, it can still get to you. Stay-at-home moms have to put up with their child’s bad day without taking a break from the tantrums and anger. After a while, it starts to wear on their heart.
They are always scrutinized – Stay-at-home moms always feel scrutinized by everyone around them. If the doctor says something isn’t right with their child, they feel judged. Likewise, if teachers, lactation consultants, and experts question what they do, it feels like a performance review. There are always other ways to do things as a parent, causing moms to be scrutinized no matter how they do it.
They always put themselves last – All parents make sacrifices, but a stay-at-home mom does it non-stop, all day long. Their entire life revolves around their child, making it impossible to put themselves first. Moms strategize their mornings to accommodate their children’s schedules and habits.
When it’s lunchtime, they don’t get to go ahead and eat, no matter how hungry they are. Moms first have to make sure all of the kids eat, and then it’ll be time to clean them up before the mom can eat.
Parenting is hard whether you’re a stay-home mom or a working mom. However, the stigma that stay-at-home moms have it easy is now disproven by research. Regardless, it’s a blessing to have that time with your kids, and stay-at-home moms understand that.
Stop beating yourself up whether you stay home or have a regular job. Parenting is never easy, and we should all support one another. Focus on doing what is best for your family, but recognize the essential role stay-home moms play in society.
Sarah Barkley is a lifestyle blogger and freelance writer with a Bachelor’s Degree in Literature from Baker College. Reach out to her at https://www.powerofpositivity.com/
