Moving In Together – Should You Do It?

So you’re thinking of taking your relationship status from lovers to roomies, but is it the right time to pack up your stuff and move in together? If one of these three scenarios hits home for you (no pun intended), then it may be time to make a move.

You’re basically roomies already

There’s no moving-in formula when it comes to relationships, and there’s no set time when everyone should be doing it. If your friends or family keep telling you that, for example, by your second anniversary you should be living together, you can ignore them. Every relationship is different.

You need to ask yourself: Has your relationship progressed naturally to a point where it feels like moving in together is a conversation you should have and not a giant leap? Are you already spending every night at each other’s homes, and does it just feel right?

Don’t pack your suitcase simply because you’ve been dating for 12 months, especially if your relationship hasn’t reached that level of intimacy yet.

You miss them when they’re away

In this case, your lives are so intertwined that even when you fall asleep, you notice the other’s absence. It really is about feeling like so much of a couple that a natural extension of your relationship would be to share a home.

Make sure that moving in together isn’t a passion-based reason. If your decision to move in together is because neither of you lives alone (so it’s harder to find places to get it on), moving in together may not end well.

You don’t have a choice

That’s a good way of handling a situation that could otherwise have had a negative amount of pressure because the catalyst of the decision was outside your control. But, good communication can solve almost any problem. Before you make the move, ensure you have ground rules and an open, honest chat, so that there isn’t any future buried resentment and unmet expectations.

How to make your relationship work after moving in together
  • Talk about how you’re going to share the bills. Will you be paying for half of everything, or will you be splitting it depending on who does certain household chores?
  • If you don’t have time to maintain your home, hire some help. Less cleaning = more sex.
  • Even if you do have help, there are some things that will need to be done every day. And you need to have a chat about how you’re going to decide who does what. Unless you want to end up cooking AND washing the dishes, this is a conversation you have to have.
  • Thinking of buying big-ticket items together, such as a car or flat screen? While you’re all loved up, agree on who will get what in case you break up and who’ll continue paying for the item. Not a fun subject, but an essential one.